Passive aggressiveness is a type of behavior that we often come across in our daily lives. We can often hear someone saying, “that person was acting very passive aggressive”.
Passive aggressive behavior is often a sign of some sort of mental illness but on its own, it is not considered to be a mental disease. But that does not mean it can not interfere with friendships and relationships. In case you are confused whether or someone you know might have passive aggressive behavior, read our guide to the peculiar trait to know more about it:
Passive-aggressive behavior can be defined as the pattern characterized by the indirect expression of negative feelings instead of choosing to address them openly. In a passive aggressive person, you can notice a disconnection between his or her behavior and what he or she does.
Let’s study some examples of this trait to understand it better:
Passive-aggressive behavior can manifest in several ways such as someone might keep making excuses every time to avoid some people showing them they are angry with them or do not like them.
Another surprising thing is that a passive aggressive person will repeatedly make the claim that he or she is not angry and is rather fine when they are actually mad at you and you can see it quite well. When such a person denies what is going on in their mind and refuses to be emotionally open to others, they shut down any chances of further communication and refuse to communicate their issue.
Another example of passive aggressive behavior is intentionally procrastinating. And when they are confronted about the tasks they start showing passive aggressiveness.
Psychological experts often say that passive aggressiveness is something that you learn and the learning process often begins during childhood. However, experts have not found a specific cause for such behavior yet, here are some factors that can contribute to people behaving passive aggressively:
People who are not allowed to question their parents as kids or say no to them, often end up learning other ways of challenging commands that they think are unjust or unfair. How does this help them? Being passive aggressive allows them to come up with a way that lets them obey others while still being able to resist them.
People who have gone through rejection, hatred, neglect, or abuse from people close to them during their childhood or romantic companionship try to keep everyone satisfied and happy with them to protect themselves. This engraves the habit of accommodating others by agreeing to them in their minds. And when they want to disagree with them, they let out their frustration indirectly because they are afraid of rejection if they express their emotions directly.
Every person has to do something in his or her life that he or she does not necessarily agree to. These situations can feel very frustrating and can put people in unwanted situations. When passive aggressive people cannot avoid unpleasant situations at work, home, or school, they try to regain control over their lives by acting out weirdly.
You will meet plenty of people in your life who find it overwhelming to deal with stressful situations like some sort of fight, conflict, and tension in their personal, social, and professional relationships and friendships. Such people are often frightened that talking about their feelings openly might damage or negatively impact their relationships and friendships. To stay away from any such criticism, they prefer to keep their opinions to themselves.
No person is equal as some can express their thoughts without any difficulty while others have a hard time recognizing and expressing their emotions ( the unwanted and unpleasant ones in particular). Such individuals might want to push back their feelings just because they find it hard to share and identify them or if they think that doing so can change the perception others have of them. However, what they fail to understand is that even if they avoid expressing their irritation, sadness, or anger directly, these emotions still become quite visible in their behavior and mood.
One thing that needs to be established is that passive aggressive behavior can sometimes also be unintentional or unconscious. A majority of people behave a bit passive-aggressively from time to time as it offers them a way to say no to someone indirectly.
The very step to cope with passive aggressive behavior if you are the one who is experiencing it is to recognize the signs that you are showing are of the said behavior. For example, some signs are withdrawal, refusal, sulking, procrastination, and backhanded compliments.
You can cope by working on your anger and trying to control it. If you really want to confront someone, try to point out their behavior in a non-judgmental and respectful way. Or if it is someone else who is being passive aggressive and you want to tell them that they should not behave like that, try to be very nice and factual, at the same time. Such people usually stay in denial of their anger. When they reach this point, we suggest you take a step back and let them work through their feelings themselves.
It can be easy to tell when someone else you know is being passive aggressive, but what to do when it is you who is engaging in such behavior. How do you recognize passive-aggressiveness in yourself? Ask yourself the following questions:
Do you frequently sulk when you do not feel happy with someone you know? Do you often avoid the person who has made you angry or sad or upset? Do you stop talking to that person then? Do you put off your tasks in an attempt to punish someone else? Do you find yourself resorting to sarcastic language and tone to avoid a meaningful discussion?
If the answer to the above-asked questions is yes, you do not need to freak out about it. Here are some amazing ways to solve it:
Passive aggressive behavior can hurt the person who expresses it as well as others present around a passive aggressive person. However, if you think it is getting out of hand, try getting in touch with an expert of psychology and get help.
